The New Year
by explosionsintheskyxx
Summary: This is about how Summer felt during the Oliver's New Year party in the first season. She realizes that Seth is the only one she wants, and goes to see him... but she gets her heart broken. Oneshot. Sorry I suck at summaries.


So I just wrote this little fic about Summer's feelings for Seth. I'm sorry if it sucks, but review and tell me what you think. I don't own anything OC related.

**The New Year**

I pulled away from my sloppy kiss with Tom. Tim. Tyler. I couldn't remember his name. He bored me for the past hour with talk about his football team or whatever sport he did. It was just wasn't interesting. I wasn't interested in him. Which was surprising because he was completely gorgeous, and I was completely shallow. I had just wanted someone that wasn't Seth Cohen to kiss for New Years.

I looked around the Four Seasons penthouse dejectedly. All the happy couples were draped in confetti and smiling. My eyes lingered on Ryan and Marisa who were making out passionately. I sighed. They were so obviously in love… I would give anything to be in love like that.

I turned back to the guy I was previously kissing. He was smiling at me like an idiot. They say that you spend the rest of your year how you spend your New Years. I thought that if I kissed another guy, then I would forget pining over Seth Cohen. Thoughts about him clouded everything I did these days. I had kissed this guy, but nothing happened. I didn't feel any different. New Years was supposed to be a time of magic… but my magic didn't happen. I was still the same Summer, still thinking about Cohen.

_I, Summer Roberts, could have anyone… I could fall in love with anyone… but all I wanted was that stupid, dorky, Seth Cohen. _I looked down at my feet, avoiding Tom/Tim/Tyler's eyes.

Suddenly the sound of clanking crystal and fireworks and people talking all seemed far away. _I don't want to just fall in love with anyone… I want to fall in love with Seth Cohen. _My eyes widened at this realization, and I turned back up to my "date". I felt dazed, and dizzy, like I've been spinning in circles for hours. I looked into his eyes and saw no depth. They were just there; there was nothing behind them… they didn't have that spark that Seth's eyes had.

"You're… not Seth Cohen…" I said softly, in an almost disbelieving way. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who's Seth Cohen?" he asked, his mouth still hanging open. I seemed to snap back into my senses a little.

"Oh, uh… no one… I wasn't talking to you… I'm sorry but I have to go," and without another word I turned and ran towards the exit of the penthouse.

I hurried towards the elevator and ran inside. I practically threw myself against the buttons as I pressed for the first floor. The elevator started to move downwards painfully slow. When the doors opened again, I ran from it, almost knocking over an old man with two suitcases.

I just had to get out of here. I had to leave this behind. I jumped into my car and shot out of the parking lot. This year was so different than the others. I didn't feel fulfilled by my kiss with that cute guy… I had no resolutions. Usually I make up a list of resolutions, even though I break all of them by the end of January.

I bit my thumb as I made my way down the dark streets. This year, I had no resolutions. All I did was think about Cohen. I couldn't make room in my mind for anything else. It was a tragedy that a gangly, pale, comic book-obsessed nerd could take up so much of my time. This wasn't how I normally acted about guys, but I didn't care anymore.

I knew where I had to go now.

I drove down the familiar streets that would lead me to the Cohen's mansion. Everywhere I looked I saw people drinking and celebrating. I wished I could be one of those people. I just want to have fun, and be myself again. I didn't want to be torn apart by Cohen anymore.

I pulled into the Cohen's driveway. As I walked up to their front door, I wondered for a second where Anna went when she left the party. She probably went home. She was probably wallowing in the same misery I was. Anna was a cool person, and I didn't hate her. I just wanted Cohen all to myself, and that was that.

I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. I stood there for a couple seconds, wondering what I should do. Should I go back? No, I can't go back. I need to see him. A cold breeze chilled my bare arms and I decided to just try the door. It was unlocked.

Feeling slightly bad that I was entering their house without permission, I made my way through the dark rooms to the staircase. I might be breaking and entering, but this was urgent.

I made my way to Seth's door, which was open just a crack. I was about to push it open, but stopped myself. Was I sure about this? What exactly was I going to tell him? In my hesitation, I heard noises from inside. There was two people talking, and one was a girl's voice. I peeked into the crack.

Seth and Anna were on Seth's bed, and he was lying on top of Anna. They were talking in whispers and then they started to kiss. My stomach dropped down to my knees. I pulled away from the door, not able to bear seeing much more. My back ran into the wall, and I slid down it. I pulled my knees up to my body and rested my chin on my knees.

I felt devastated. I felt angry. I felt so many things at once. I wanted to just sit there and cry forever. I wanted to march into the room and yell at Seth and tell him how much he's hurt me. I wanted to go in there and slap Anna across the face. I wanted to go home and never leave the house ever again.

How could he be kissing another girl on New Years? How could he not even be worrying about me, thinking about me at all? My breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, and I couldn't seem to move.

Hot tears began to roll down my cheeks as I realized that he was choosing Anna. How you spend your New Years is how you spend the rest of the year. He spent it with Anna. He was going to spend the rest of his year with Anna, and I was going to be miserable and have this sick feeling in my stomach all year.

With a lot of effort, I got back to my feet, and slowly made my way downstairs. I got back into my car and sat there, thinking.

Saline tears kept streaming down my face. I wiped them away and turned on the car. I couldn't believe that I thought I could fall in love with him. That I thought he could fall in love with me. Who was I kidding? It was impossible. It would never happen. There was this distance between us that could never be bridged. We were two totally different people, with totally different interests. But he and Anna… they were like the same person. They were made for each other. I cried even harder at the thought of Anna and Seth together.

I wanted Seth Cohen all to myself. I wanted to kiss him and look into his eyes, and see that sparkle. I wanted him to make me laugh, and hold my hand, and smirk that adorable smirk he does when I tease him. I wanted to run my hands through his messy black hair, and I wanted him to tell me that he would love me forever.

I would never get that. I would never get exactly what I wanted from Seth.

And I've never felt so heartbroken about it in my life.


End file.
